Ignorance was bliss
Oh no… another “this time last year” piece. Sorry.
Call me a sheep, but like most people, my mind has become so structured by the concept of Time that I can’t help but attach significance to landmarks. And the anniversary of the moment we were all forced to take this pandemic seriously – as in, the moment it really affected our personal lives – is one big landmark. Especially considering this time last year, we were optimistic (or ignorant?) enough to think we’d be out of this thing in a year’s time.
Nope. Here we are, in the midst of a 3rd wave (at least in Paris) with yet a 3rd lockdown looming. So has nothing changed at all in a year?
In order to answer that question, I went back to my first lockdown playlist. It turns out, listening to it made me feel pretty nostalgic… I know what you’re thinking: what could I possibly miss from this time last year? Well…
*Religiously* clapping at my window every evening at 8pm in solidarity with health care workers
Opening our window was more than just the only socialising moment of our day, or an opportunity to collectively break the dreaded silence lockdown had cast upon the city. It was also a gesture of hope: we didn’t just clap, but also smiled at each other across the street or the courtyard in a “soon-this-will-be-over-and-we’ll-go-back-to-normal” way. A year into Covid, this daily ritual is long gone, and our blatant naivety has been replaced by bitter weariness.
Relapsing into my best teenage life
Having nowhere to go and no one to see was a good justification to:
-download The Sims 2 and spend hours building sick houses
-purchase Animal Crossing and indebt myself to Tom Nook daily because it was cute
-play online games with friends and strangers on Discord till 3AM
-binge watch the best of Netflix reality TV series
The grown-up in me viewed this behaviour as OK only as long as it was temporary (3 months tops?), and that I wasn’t projecting to pursue these entertaining but unproductive activities for the rest of my life. But now… I dread the idea of jumping back into them, not knowing when I’ll be able to get out.
Slowing down
The world being on pause sure was worrisome but also a way to hit my own “pause” button. Having 30% of my working hours cut came with its challenges, but it was kinda nice to *have* to shut my work laptop and be forced to slow down. It’s cliché, but I did enjoy taking the time to cook, complete a 1,000 piece puzzle of Renoir’s Le déjeuner des canotiers (a favourite because of Amélie Poulain), and walk aimlessly in my very quiet and deserted Parisian neighbourhood. Since then, every industry has adapted to remote life and this free time and stillness feel like a dream gone by. If only it had given way to the return of normal life, instead of its dark understudy: endless working from home with literally nothing to relieve us from its exhausting intensity.
If you haven’t seen them, Julie Nolke’s “Explaining the Pandemic to my past self” videos are worth a watch. But as you can see, what I miss most about this time last year, is being like Julie’s past self: innocent and optimistic. I miss not knowing that lockdown life would turn into this limbo of doom we’ve now endured for a year. All in all, ignorance was bliss.
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On a more positive note, here are some nice aspects of lockdown lifestyle that have stuck around for the better:
getting to spend much more time with my fiancé and now husband
having him learn how to make proper coffee at home
making my own sourdough bread
Image credit: illustration by Jean Jullien